The Obama Election

So I've been thinking all day about what I should first cover, and I finally decided that the election would be a good place to start. This will largely be covered in the tone that Obama won, not that he beat McCain. I feel that now that the election is over we should focus on who IS president not who could have been president. We must learn to live in the present, not in the past. Just because Obama grew up as a normal American born out of the elite and is the embodiment of the American dream while a certain other candidate was born into a rich family and got ahead in life exclusively because of who his father was and divorced his wife after getting back from war and married into another rich family, because of the opportunity to gain a trophy wife is no reason to favor one candidate over another. The flavor of pudding one candidate prefers over another is also a completely illegitimate reason to prefer one candidate. Unless that flavor is Tapioca because that stuff is truly disgusting. With those nasty little chunks and the taste it's just blech. Again I digress.

Conservatives: don't get me wrong I think John McCain is not that bad of a person. I have completely communist views, but that doesn't mean I can't admire the accomplishments of a person's life. John McCain is a war hero who lost a lot for his country, and I can understand even some of the more despicable events in his life because of the situation he was in, which is a lot more credit than most people on my side of the political agenda would give people on yours. For instance the divorce of his first wife. If I served in war, and spent several years in a torture facility I doubt I could just go back to my old life and pick things up where I left off. At the same time I believe that between his age and the distinct possibility of him having P.T.S.D. I could not vote for him as a candidate. President Palin. 'Nuff said.

Liberals: Yay! Our candidate won! At the same time, just because you belong to a political party does not mean that everyone in your party is lacking in flaws. I believe that the most important part of being a balanced, politically informed person is understanding what is wrong with what you support. While I know that Obama is a great person, he is not without flaws. He did change how he acted for the election which, even though most candidates do this, is still a negative change! He used to be called "Barry" and used to refer to himself as so instead of as Barack which he calls himself by now to stress his African heritage to help his election. As supporters of him these seem like little nit-picky things to stress, but you have to understand that many conservatives feel the same way about the flaws of John McCain. Just try to be balanced. Like your diet. Too much of a good thing will get you diabetes and you will die of sugar. That's right Obama will give you diabetes.

Seriously how can you like it?!??! It looks and tastes like vanilla pudding you left out on the counter over night and it got all rotted and nasty! Yes, I'm talking about tapioca not John McCain's complexion.

Why Obama is not a socialist. For starters, many people who lived through and supported the "red scare" would even see many modern republicans as communist because, let's face it, our government is much stronger than it used to be. Think about social security, think about Medicare, Medicaid, and for Christ's sake our government bought 700 million dollars worth of shares in the f***ing "free" market (which many republicans supported mind you) and you're calling Obama socialist? Shame on you! Tapioca is just as socialist as Obama, because it wants to share it's disgustingness with everyone equally! But as a socialist/communist/person-with-logic-and-a-brain let me tell you that Obama only possesses one of my 3 defining features and it isn't either of the ones ending with"ist". If he was he would believe in equal wages for all Americans, government ownership of all utilities and most other corporations, more power being placed into the hands of the proletariat with the abolition of agencies like the electoral college, and he would believe in having a really awesome mustache. Examples below:



So please support our new president, because like it or not, he's here for the next four years. Deal with it. Think of it this way, at least he isn't creepy, old, white, and full of nasty little chunks of rotten pudding.