Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I just got back from vacation in Whitefish, which was fun, and I figured my faithful readers deserved another post. All 60,000 of you! HA! I wish... *dies inside*
Anyway, on the way home we drove past several car dealerships and I noticed several things:
1. Most of them were having sales
2. Lots of the ones that were having sales were selling Amerikan cars
3. Hummers still make me sick... so sick...
Now, I personally believe that all of the incompetent Amerikan should burn because they drove themselves down the long path to punny destruction. I think this has happened because of three reasons:
1. One day they decided to look at the sales and said,
Executive 1: "Oh look! Shitty gas-guzzling cars that spew more Carbon waste than an elephant eating beans aren't selling, and the small environmentally safe cars that use little gas are selling like hot cakes... (Okay, who the f**k has ever bought a hot cake?) ...What should we do?"
Executive 2: "Um... Let's make the small ones?"
Executive 3: "Why that would be stupid!!! Because 9-11 gay marriage 9-11 abortion 9-11!!!"
Executive 1: "Yes, I agree with Mr. #3! Let's make giant SUV's and Trucks that nobody wants and then call anyone who doesn't buy one unamerikan!!! And if there's any way to make it run on endangered species please do it immediately!!!"
At least that's how I like to imagine it went, because this scenario is about the most logical way I can see it happening. But I believe you got my point. Gay-marriage negatively effects your gas mileage, but that's a story for another time. They kept... making... crappy... cars... while completely ignoring consumer trends!!! GAAAAAAA!!! I believe in Communism and I still know that that's NOT HOW CAPITALISM WORKS!!!
2. The Unions destroyed them from the inside out. Now trust me, I'm in support of Unions and worker's rights (workers of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains, and all that) but these unions took it waaaaaaaay too far. Certain Unions just have too much power, it's a simple fact. They demanding such high wages, and such absurd working conditions, that it crippled the entire industry, and there was nothing the companies could do but give them what they wanted. I mean, what are they going to do? Hire 5,000,000 scabs? Think about it... not going to happen.
C. Their competition was the Japanese. HA! Good luck with THAT!!! The only thing they don't win is World Wars...
Now, back to the first point. The part specifically about the "call anyone who doesn't buy one unamerikan" - part. Now, my amazing, wonderful, glorious, girlfriend and I were discussing something similar to this just the other day. Did I mention she rocks? I think so. Well, we were talking about the difference between Patriotism and Nationalism... so let's define terms with the magical help of Wikipedia:
Patriotism is commonly defined as love of and/or devotion to one's country.
Nationalism can refer to an ideology, sentiment, a form of culture, or a social movement that focuses on the nation.
I'm not sure these are entirely sufficient for this conversation, so let's expand. Now, we figured out that Patriotism is just pride in your country, while Nationalism is the belief in your country ABOVE other countries. Hanging an Amerikan flag in your front yard, Patriotism. Buying a s**tty, more expensive, environmentally detrimental car because it was PUT TOGETHER by a company in your country, Nationalism. Going out and voting on Nov. 4th, Patriotism. Hanging a confederate flag off the back of your Ford F - One-God-Awful, Douche Baggery. Patriotism... gooooooooood. Nationalism... baaaaaaaaaad. Which is really fun to say with the whole goat voice thing going on! I digress...
People, buy Japanese. Not only are they cooler than us in almost every way, their cars rock. And roll. All night long. Sweet Suzy.
What did the injured, Auto-Industry executives, that happened to be cats say to each other...
Me-Ouch
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
The Obama Election
So I've been thinking all day about what I should first cover, and I finally decided that the election would be a good place to start. This will largely be covered in the tone that Obama won, not that he beat McCain. I feel that now that the election is over we should focus on who IS president not who could have been president. We must learn to live in the present, not in the past. Just because Obama grew up as a normal American born out of the elite and is the embodiment of the American dream while a certain other candidate was born into a rich family and got ahead in life exclusively because of who his father was and divorced his wife after getting back from war and married into another rich family, because of the opportunity to gain a trophy wife is no reason to favor one candidate over another. The flavor of pudding one candidate prefers over another is also a completely illegitimate reason to prefer one candidate. Unless that flavor is Tapioca because that stuff is truly disgusting. With those nasty little chunks and the taste it's just blech. Again I digress.
Conservatives: don't get me wrong I think John McCain is not that bad of a person. I have completely communist views, but that doesn't mean I can't admire the accomplishments of a person's life. John McCain is a war hero who lost a lot for his country, and I can understand even some of the more despicable events in his life because of the situation he was in, which is a lot more credit than most people on my side of the political agenda would give people on yours. For instance the divorce of his first wife. If I served in war, and spent several years in a torture facility I doubt I could just go back to my old life and pick things up where I left off. At the same time I believe that between his age and the distinct possibility of him having P.T.S.D. I could not vote for him as a candidate. President Palin. 'Nuff said.
Liberals: Yay! Our candidate won! At the same time, just because you belong to a political party does not mean that everyone in your party is lacking in flaws. I believe that the most important part of being a balanced, politically informed person is understanding what is wrong with what you support. While I know that Obama is a great person, he is not without flaws. He did change how he acted for the election which, even though most candidates do this, is still a negative change! He used to be called "Barry" and used to refer to himself as so instead of as Barack which he calls himself by now to stress his African heritage to help his election. As supporters of him these seem like little nit-picky things to stress, but you have to understand that many conservatives feel the same way about the flaws of John McCain. Just try to be balanced. Like your diet. Too much of a good thing will get you diabetes and you will die of sugar. That's right Obama will give you diabetes.
Seriously how can you like it?!??! It looks and tastes like vanilla pudding you left out on the counter over night and it got all rotted and nasty! Yes, I'm talking about tapioca not John McCain's complexion.
Why Obama is not a socialist. For starters, many people who lived through and supported the "red scare" would even see many modern republicans as communist because, let's face it, our government is much stronger than it used to be. Think about social security, think about Medicare, Medicaid, and for Christ's sake our government bought 700 million dollars worth of shares in the f***ing "free" market (which many republicans supported mind you) and you're calling Obama socialist? Shame on you! Tapioca is just as socialist as Obama, because it wants to share it's disgustingness with everyone equally! But as a socialist/communist/person-with-logic-and-a-brain let me tell you that Obama only possesses one of my 3 defining features and it isn't either of the ones ending with"ist". If he was he would believe in equal wages for all Americans, government ownership of all utilities and most other corporations, more power being placed into the hands of the proletariat with the abolition of agencies like the electoral college, and he would believe in having a really awesome mustache. Examples below:
So please support our new president, because like it or not, he's here for the next four years. Deal with it. Think of it this way, at least he isn't creepy, old, white, and full of nasty little chunks of rotten pudding.
Conservatives: don't get me wrong I think John McCain is not that bad of a person. I have completely communist views, but that doesn't mean I can't admire the accomplishments of a person's life. John McCain is a war hero who lost a lot for his country, and I can understand even some of the more despicable events in his life because of the situation he was in, which is a lot more credit than most people on my side of the political agenda would give people on yours. For instance the divorce of his first wife. If I served in war, and spent several years in a torture facility I doubt I could just go back to my old life and pick things up where I left off. At the same time I believe that between his age and the distinct possibility of him having P.T.S.D. I could not vote for him as a candidate. President Palin. 'Nuff said.
Liberals: Yay! Our candidate won! At the same time, just because you belong to a political party does not mean that everyone in your party is lacking in flaws. I believe that the most important part of being a balanced, politically informed person is understanding what is wrong with what you support. While I know that Obama is a great person, he is not without flaws. He did change how he acted for the election which, even though most candidates do this, is still a negative change! He used to be called "Barry" and used to refer to himself as so instead of as Barack which he calls himself by now to stress his African heritage to help his election. As supporters of him these seem like little nit-picky things to stress, but you have to understand that many conservatives feel the same way about the flaws of John McCain. Just try to be balanced. Like your diet. Too much of a good thing will get you diabetes and you will die of sugar. That's right Obama will give you diabetes.
Seriously how can you like it?!??! It looks and tastes like vanilla pudding you left out on the counter over night and it got all rotted and nasty! Yes, I'm talking about tapioca not John McCain's complexion.
Why Obama is not a socialist. For starters, many people who lived through and supported the "red scare" would even see many modern republicans as communist because, let's face it, our government is much stronger than it used to be. Think about social security, think about Medicare, Medicaid, and for Christ's sake our government bought 700 million dollars worth of shares in the f***ing "free" market (which many republicans supported mind you) and you're calling Obama socialist? Shame on you! Tapioca is just as socialist as Obama, because it wants to share it's disgustingness with everyone equally! But as a socialist/communist/person-with-logic-and-a-brain let me tell you that Obama only possesses one of my 3 defining features and it isn't either of the ones ending with"ist". If he was he would believe in equal wages for all Americans, government ownership of all utilities and most other corporations, more power being placed into the hands of the proletariat with the abolition of agencies like the electoral college, and he would believe in having a really awesome mustache. Examples below:
So please support our new president, because like it or not, he's here for the next four years. Deal with it. Think of it this way, at least he isn't creepy, old, white, and full of nasty little chunks of rotten pudding.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Welcome to me
This is my first post, which is quite a redundant statement giving that there aren't going to be any other posts for a while. Anyway, thought I'd say hi and tell you in general what this blog is going to be like as far as I know. I'd guarantee it'll be like this but unfortunately I can not predict the future. If you can, good for you. But you should probably go see a doctor and tell him about the traumatic events that occurred in your childhood granting you this ability. Please people, do not abuse your children. I digress.
I will write about events that occur and my opinion about them. Both events that occur in popular culture, and occasionally events in my own life if I grant you the right to hear about me. In response to this, if I am wrong about something that occurs, please send me an email detailing my wrongness. Do not troll, do not be an asshole. Rule number one of existing is to not be an asshole. You will not make very many friends, and you are probably the kind of person who enables their children to think they can see the future. Again I digress.
I will try to cover anything "big" that happens, but remember that I am a High School student and I have things to do, people to see, things to see, and people to do. On that note, I would rather you do not send me emails asking me to cover a particular story, but if you send the email with naked pictures of yourself I will be significantly more inclined to cover said story. This does not include you Martha Stewart, because no one wants to see that.
Have fun, be safe, and don't physically assault anyone with a can of disinfectant because you will do jail time. And the judge will not accept your plea of "temporary insanitary".
I will write about events that occur and my opinion about them. Both events that occur in popular culture, and occasionally events in my own life if I grant you the right to hear about me. In response to this, if I am wrong about something that occurs, please send me an email detailing my wrongness. Do not troll, do not be an asshole. Rule number one of existing is to not be an asshole. You will not make very many friends, and you are probably the kind of person who enables their children to think they can see the future. Again I digress.
I will try to cover anything "big" that happens, but remember that I am a High School student and I have things to do, people to see, things to see, and people to do. On that note, I would rather you do not send me emails asking me to cover a particular story, but if you send the email with naked pictures of yourself I will be significantly more inclined to cover said story. This does not include you Martha Stewart, because no one wants to see that.
Have fun, be safe, and don't physically assault anyone with a can of disinfectant because you will do jail time. And the judge will not accept your plea of "temporary insanitary".
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