The Auto-Industry

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I just got back from vacation in Whitefish, which was fun, and I figured my faithful readers deserved another post. All 60,000 of you! HA! I wish... *dies inside*

Anyway, on the way home we drove past several car dealerships and I noticed several things:

1. Most of them were having sales
2. Lots of the ones that were having sales were selling Amerikan cars
3. Hummers still make me sick... so sick...

Now, I personally believe that all of the incompetent Amerikan should burn because they drove themselves down the long path to punny destruction. I think this has happened because of three reasons:

1. One day they decided to look at the sales and said,
Executive 1: "Oh look! Shitty gas-guzzling cars that spew more Carbon waste than an elephant eating beans aren't selling, and the small environmentally safe cars that use little gas are selling like hot cakes... (Okay, who the f**k has ever bought a hot cake?) ...What should we do?"
Executive 2: "Um... Let's make the small ones?"
Executive 3: "Why that would be stupid!!! Because 9-11 gay marriage 9-11 abortion 9-11!!!"
Executive 1: "Yes, I agree with Mr. #3! Let's make giant SUV's and Trucks that nobody wants and then call anyone who doesn't buy one unamerikan!!! And if there's any way to make it run on endangered species please do it immediately!!!"

At least that's how I like to imagine it went, because this scenario is about the most logical way I can see it happening. But I believe you got my point. Gay-marriage negatively effects your gas mileage, but that's a story for another time. They kept... making... crappy... cars... while completely ignoring consumer trends!!! GAAAAAAA!!! I believe in Communism and I still know that that's NOT HOW CAPITALISM WORKS!!!

2. The Unions destroyed them from the inside out. Now trust me, I'm in support of Unions and worker's rights (workers of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains, and all that) but these unions took it waaaaaaaay too far. Certain Unions just have too much power, it's a simple fact. They demanding such high wages, and such absurd working conditions, that it crippled the entire industry, and there was nothing the companies could do but give them what they wanted. I mean, what are they going to do? Hire 5,000,000 scabs? Think about it... not going to happen.

C. Their competition was the Japanese. HA! Good luck with THAT!!! The only thing they don't win is World Wars...

Now, back to the first point. The part specifically about the "call anyone who doesn't buy one unamerikan" - part. Now, my amazing, wonderful, glorious, girlfriend and I were discussing something similar to this just the other day. Did I mention she rocks? I think so. Well, we were talking about the difference between Patriotism and Nationalism... so let's define terms with the magical help of Wikipedia:

Patriotism is commonly defined as love of and/or devotion to one's country.

Nationalism can refer to an ideology, sentiment, a form of culture, or a social movement that focuses on the nation.

I'm not sure these are entirely sufficient for this conversation, so let's expand. Now, we figured out that Patriotism is just pride in your country, while Nationalism is the belief in your country ABOVE other countries. Hanging an Amerikan flag in your front yard, Patriotism. Buying a s**tty, more expensive, environmentally detrimental car because it was PUT TOGETHER by a company in your country, Nationalism. Going out and voting on Nov. 4th, Patriotism. Hanging a confederate flag off the back of your Ford F - One-God-Awful, Douche Baggery. Patriotism... gooooooooood. Nationalism... baaaaaaaaaad. Which is really fun to say with the whole goat voice thing going on! I digress...

People, buy Japanese. Not only are they cooler than us in almost every way, their cars rock. And roll. All night long. Sweet Suzy.


What did the injured, Auto-Industry executives, that happened to be cats say to each other...

Me-Ouch